What books have influenced you?

I have lots and lots of books. Hundreds, even. I've been in the book industry for the past 10 years so I'd better have a few books to speak of, shouldn't I? And they're all special to me in different ways. Not only do I remember the story of each of my well-paged books, but I remember where I was in my life when I read each one. In some I found words of wisdom, in others, a good laugh.

It was a cold winter night in 2002, the house was freezing, I had a pot of thick veg soup on the stove and I was tucked up in a blanket reading Anne Michael's Fugitive Pieces. It's incredibly multi-layered and poetically written, but at it's core is a story of love as redemption, love as a gateway to something better. And that concept found me and I held on to it. It spoke to me - I was in a loveless relationship and desperately trying to convince myself otherwise and this "love concept thing" as it was realised in the book, made me realise that above all else, love feels good. Great, in fact. Love doesn't hurt. It can redeem and free. (Duh!) But at the time, it was a quiet suggestion that made a big impact. It lead me, over time, to free myself from a situation which wasn't serving my heart. Powerful stuff, I tell you!

Another book that jumps to mind unasked is Chris Cleaves' The Other Hand. I read it over a few weeks of a balmy Cape Town Summer, everyday lying in the shade of the tree outside my bedroom window, head propped up with massive pillows, drinking countless cups of tea and enjoying the long days. I'd come home from work straight away and dive straight into the book. It deals with tough subject matter - that of a young Nigerian refugee named Little Bee, who finds herself in England, unable to speak the language and desperately looking for an English couple she met on a beach in Nigeria. What follows is a heartfelt, gut-wrenching yet somehow thoroughly enjoyable read which transports the reader to uncomforable spaces, where we explore what it means to be a refugee, what it means to fail, and to find courage to try again. You wouldn't think that all that "heavy" stuff would make for a positively remembered experience, but it does. It's an absolute gem by an author fairly unknown in SA.

I just love picking up a book and drifting into a different world, and all the better if it's such a brilliantly clever and moving story. So what books have influenced you? Its a pretty huge topic and perhaps best dealt with over a few posts, so I leave it to you - tell me about the books you've loved / hated, and why.

Yours in ferociously good books

AG

I have a new scar

Believe it cos it's true. I have a new scar. Running down half of the side of my right foot. I have scars where the stitches were. I have scars where the cut was deeper than elsewhere down the line. And you know what? I love scars. I think they tell a story. Your own unique story has been memorised by your skin. It'll always be there to remind you of that time, although mostly, scars lose significance over time.

The other very deep scar that I'll have with me forever is on my knee. It was the result of a run-gone-wrong with my jack russell, Ethan. I was in high school, and was making my way back from the cafe to my grandmother's house. I loved the feeling of freedom I got when running. Ethan and I were happily sprinting down the road when a car came past and back-fired. This sent the poor pup into shock and he veered all over the place, and in the effort of trying not to get caught up in his leash, I tripped and went sprawling. I left a huge chunk of my knee behind on that tar that day. But my scar serves as a reminder of the (now humourously thought of) events that followed, as well as the feeling of freedom that little dog and I often enjoyed together.

And sure I've got the odd shaving cut here and there, and a few nicks that I don't recall actively receiving. But I love scars, that's just how it is. I don't think a scar should ever be seen as an embarressment, no matter how severe it is perceived to be.

What scars do you have? Are they of the kind that can't be seen but are felt as permanent features on the heart, or do you have physical scars you love, or hate? I'd love for you to let me know. And which kind do you think heals the fastest?

Yours in greencross-esque icky blue "stability" boots and misty afternoons

AG

Do you have a "person", ala Grey's Anatomy?

Today I got a call from my best friend, who is sick and lamenting her situation. To top it all off, she's had a bad time of it lately at work, and she's just feeling glum, all round. Besides the obvious pep talks and ra-ra-ra's, how do you go about cheering someone up?

I like to go with the less obvious. Forget the flowers and free meds. I like to communicate just exactly how much I love and adore this friend, because let's face it, who doesn't like to be told they're loved, no matter what. Loved unconditionally and without fail. I thought I'd let her know how much she really means to me. And so I did, but via a beautifully worded text message, because sometimes it's easier written than said. I told her she's "my person", always and forever and that I'm always here for her - a cry on the shoulder, or a bottle of red wine, when she makes me watch horror films and rugby with her (I hate rugby and horror), or when she tries out new recipes on me. When she borrows books I haven't yet read, or when she laughs at me on my crutches ("Speedy" my ass!). And then I got to thinking about how everyone should have "a person", be it a friend, lover or family.

What does it mean to love unconditionally? I had a strange realization the other day, and that's that unconditional love is really rather scarce. We tend to judge people, forget them, hold stuff against them or impress upon them our disapproval, and that's when love is no longer pure - it's tainted and murky and it takes a lot of effort to remember what it feels like to let go and love unconditionally. To me, unconditional love means a non-judgemental and immediately forgiving approach. And the more I do it, the easier it comes. But I also think that it goes beyond practice and sometimes has everything to do with who the person is that you love unconditionally. Let's face it, it's far easier to feel that way if you feel you're receiving the same kind of love in return. So maybe it's a combo of practice, mindfulness and finding the riht person.

Try it today, in your own tiny way, to be free - love, and let the light in!

Wishing you lots of unconditional love, warmth and sunflowers

AG

What did you learn this Summer?

It's a glorious sunny Autumn day in Cape Town and, as with the change of every season, I reflect on the past season's highs and lows and life lessons. So what'd I learn over Summer? Funnily enough, my life lessons came mostly (but not exclusively) from my dogs. Lemme tell you a little about them, first. Bella is a border collie cross and she's the smartest dog I've ever met. But poor old Finley, the orange dog, is mostly rather daft. And then there's Jasper, the pup (well, he's just over a year old and he still thinks he's a puppy). Jas is a doberman cross something or other, and he's HUGE.

It's all got to do with the beach, you see. There is nothing better than watching dogs on a beach. You can feel their happiness - it's infectious! You can see what they're thinking: "Dig dig dig! Ok now swim swim swim. Ok now roll in the sand. Oooooh! A frisbee! Fetch fetch fetch!" As their tongues loll out of their mouths in sheer joy, I was reminded time and time again, to live in the now. To enjoy each moment for what it offers. To sniff out treasures others aren't looking for. To enjoy simple pleasures which bring great joy. And of course, breathe. In and out, breathe.

With this basic lesson in mind, I plan to live Winter like it's my favourite season. I WILL concentrate on the little things to bring me joy - a walk in the rain, all bundled up in scarves and hats and gorgeous wellies and then a hot bubble bath to restore feeling to my toes, a wonderful book to read next to the fireplace, weekends away in Pringle Bay and long walks on the beach, yummy croissants and reading the newspaper in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, home-made veggie soups and thick slices of fresh country bread. I have all of that and more to look forward to in Winter. But for now, these are the things that raise my spirits in Autumn.

1. Thick woolly socks and last year's fav jumpers
2. Wonderful books
3. Putting on the warming blanket 10 minutes before climbing into bed
4. Sleeping late on weekends in rainy weather
5. My silly and amusing pooches
6. Hot cross buns, lightly toasted with a smidgen of butter
7. New boots
8. New gloves ;)
9. Enjoying the first of the Winter delights at great Cape Town sidewalk cafes
10. Not feeling guilty about getting straight into my jammies when I get home after work. If the weather leaves much to be desired, why not?

What raises your spirits in Autumn?